crooked kingdom reread because i have no need for happiness 😭 but at least wesper is thriving 💣🔫🦯🔪🐺🧇🥞

 

𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓭 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓭𝓸𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓷𝓸 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼

Hey guys…Eesha Samantray from the Samantray Post here. I am broken. But that doesn’t mean I won’t rant about wesper here, and bits of kanej,

So, let’s go review CROOKED KINGDOM and try not to cry.

Skipping the Grisha getting kidnapped by a winged man, the crows keep Smeet busy as Kaz and Wylan get some father-son bonding searching for property information.

Inej, who was kidnapped (did I mention that in the last post?), is threatened by Jan Van Dick to cut her legs off. When will this guy die? I want his eye ball ripped off, Kaz! No exceptions! You hurt Wylan and Inej, and you are dead. No exceptions!

Anyway, Kazzie kidnaps Alys (Wyvil’s stepmother) and they gonna trade her with Inej. And, well, Alys has a bit of not-so-good voice. Jesper’s Dad; Colm Fahey arrives! And he and Wylan (love of his life) go meet him! Meeting your boyfriend’s father before you’re even boyfriends, oh how I love that trope (kanej use it too!).

And Wyvil gets jealous.

“‘If I live, I’ll buy you waffles.’

‘You don’t have enough money to buy her waffles,’ Wylan grumbled.”

Well, Wylan, you’ll have more to worry than a collage student wanting to have breakfast with Jesper.

Inej is back! Yay!

“’I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.’”

Wow, finally a quote that isn’t emo. Just kidding, I love this. I want to fricking brand this (and ‘Maybe I like your stupid face’ and ‘You are every flower blooming at once’) on my forehead, it won’t fit but I don’t care.

Skipping to Kaz revealing his plan to sabotage Van Eck’s sugar silos using a chemical weevil (cleverly nicknamed the Wyvil by Jesper, love him).

Wyvil and Jesper go to get some materials for the Wyvil, but stop to pay respects for Wylan’s mom, but: Plot twist; she’s alive but Van Eck had sent her to an ASYLUM. We’re just getting more reasons to effing hate this guy.

But we get wesper scene.

“’You’re stupid about a lot of things, Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I’m going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue.’

Wylan wiped his nose on his sleeve. ‘He’ll never believe it.’

'Then I’ll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue.”’

OH MY GOD, im dying. Love them. I need the show right now.

Wylan goes to get the seal from fake-dad’s house with his real dad (Kazzie) – oh, you know, more father-son bonding time, and Kazzle Dazzle actually gives his dad advice, but is interrupted by Bitch-boy Rollins.

Jesper is gonna get berated by his dad, and after he does, he sees Wylan on the piano (smiles painfully).

They kiss. Yay. But Kuwei is on the doorway.

“’What?’ Jesper asked. ‘Do the Shu not kiss before noon?’

‘I wouldn’t know,’ said Kuwei sourly.

Not Kuwei.”

OH MY GOD, JESPER! WHAT THE FRICK? I have no idea how to express my embarrassment and anger at Kuwei. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Better.

Kazzie reveals his plan for Kuwei to sell himself (fine by me, bish).

Kaz beats a crowd of dregs up like the badass he is.

Wesper moment after Kuwei disaster.

“’I like your stupid face.’”

I AM SCREAMING. AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA. Wylan gets his face back (thank god) and then Jesper and Wylan have another moment.

“…and when Jesper opened his mouth to take another breath, Wylan leaned forward and kissed him. Jesper’s mind emptied. He wasn’t thinking of what had happened before or what might happen next. There was only the reality of Wylan’s mouth, the press of his lips, then the fine bones of his neck, the silky feel of his curls as Jesper cupped his nape and drew him nearer.

This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it Wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh.

Slowly, inevitably, they broke apart. “Wylan,” Jesper said, looking into the wide blue sky of his eyes, ‘I really hope we don’t die.’”

Ignore my screaming (AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA AHAHAHHA)

WYLAN GOT BEAT UP ORDERED BY JAN VAN DICK, I KNOW I KNOW IT’S FOR THE PLAN, BUT READING IT AGAIN….AH!

Anyway…Kazzle Dazzle, disguised as a Grisha from the council of Tides, says the auction is biased because Jan gave money to the Shu. Wylan backs this up, as he comes, beaten bloody.

Van Dick got arrested. I wanted him dead, but ok…They fake Kuwei’s death, and-and-and Matthias GETS EFFING SHOT! I WANNA DIE.

He-he comes back to her (sniffs) and-and they-I can’t…this is too much. Please.

“’I promise, Matthias. I'll take you home.’"

‘Nina,’ he said, pressing her hand to his heart. ‘I am already home.’

I CAN’T. I EFFING CAN’T WITH THIS BOOK. NO. AHHHHHH. NO.

“Kuwei turned to Jesper. ‘You should visit me in Ravka. We could learn to use our powers together.’

‘How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?’ Wylan said with a very passable imitation of Kaz’s glare.

Jesper shrugged. “I’ve heard he’s one of the richest men in Ketterdam. I wouldn’t cross him.’”

I love this. I am dying inside but I love this. I love Jealous!Wylan, and Kuwei, don’t cross us, we will kill you.

Kazzle Dazzle fricking buys Inej a ship and gets her parents (true love, take note).

“’That’s the laugh,’ he murmured.”

Kanej, Wesper and Helnik are the definitions of true love (including Malec, but that is a different series).

Well, that’s it. Oh, and like the badass she is, Inej threatens Pekka to never be in the city (love her).

Good bye, guys! Clockwork Angel review is coming, just started the book. Do you want single book reviews, or as a series?